Inshulting a man !

Dear friends , I have always wondered what is the worst insult a man could cause to another man.That question reminds me of an incident , that happened between 2 of my room mates in bangalore . Before you start enjoying the comedy - let me introduce my friends Bharath & Mahesh. I have not changed their names because , I wanted them to remember how hilarious it is to remember this crazy stuff....

Scene 1 -

Beautiful monday morning -

Bharath & Mahesh - both worked for the same software company, so they usually leave at the same time.However,That day bharath was delayed as he was not able to find his underwear.so he gets irritated ( I think his undies was gifted by his ex-girlfriend , perhaps !). So he decides to call me (Tamilselvan)


Bharath - Hi Tamiz , how are you ?

Tamilselvan - Yeah , was doing good ! now that you have called me , i dont know ,how well I would be .

Bharath - Hey shut up ! after talking to me , your life will change.

Tamil - is it ? so whats the scene !

Bharath - machan , i have a problem. hope you dont mind ,if I ask you ?

Tamil - (so innocent !) no probs , tell me buddy !

Bharath - tamiz , you know what , I am not able to find my underwear , it is a blue color , jockey.I know you also wear jockey ( what the hell ?) , I am not able to find it today morning , let me know , if you are wearing it by mistake ?

Tamil - (Surprised by the question,asks him again) what were you not able to find ?

Bharath - dei , machan , I am telling you rite .. my blue , jockey da

Tamil - How can you ask such a question da - wont I know my underwear ! sorry machi , I am not wearing, probably ask mahesh !

Bharath - I know ,you would not do it , because you are also very hygenic like me, probably mahesh might be wearing it . but I have a problem asking him.

Tamil - why ? if you can ask me , why not him?

Bharath - no da, he gets angry very quickly , so can you ask him and let me know? I dont want to spoil the friendship(bloody , he is not worried about spoiling my friendship)

Tamil - ok da , I will ask him.

Scene 2

I called mahesh . He is a cool guy .

Tamil - Hi mahesh, I need a small info

Mahesh - tell me da , whats the matter ?

Tamil - Bharath , has a confusion , which he thinks , only you can solve as I dont know the answer

Mahesh - what is that ?

Tamil - Machi , my boss is calling ! so can you call bharath and talk to him directly , it is very urgent ..

Mahesh - tell me da, whats the issue !

Tamil - hey ok da, bye bye , my boss is calling..(happily escaped the nasty job of mediating for somebody's underwear ?) Enna kodumai sir !



Scene 3

Mahesh calls my mobile in 20 minutes .

Tamil - hello tamilselvan here .

Mahesh - dai mayiru , unnai udhaikunumda !

Tamil - why what happened ?

Mahesh - Instead of asking me to call bharath , you could have hit me with your slippers

Tamil - (laughing aloud) why da , why are you so angry?

Mahesh - Then what , he is asking me whether I am wearing his banian(WHAT ?? he asked me about my underwear , he asked mahesh about his banian - paravillai thappichuttan)

Tamil - Hey what are you saying , i thought ,he was inquring about his blue jockey brief

Mahesh- I am really pissed of with this da . How dare he asks like that.Ok we will talk about this today evening. I will make sure he never asks like this to anybody.Come home soon. He will surely get it from me today.

Tamil - Mahesh , forget it da. Don't drag the argument.we all have to stay together.(Tamil - nee periya aalu)

Mahesh - No way , I will teach him a lesson. Bye.... ( slams the phone down)

Scene 4

Bharath is cooking. Mahesh comes in late. Me , quietly watching tv.

Mahesh ,goes to the kitchen .

Mahesh - Bharath , machi , here have a look da.He removes his shirt and pant , furiously!
Look ! Look man! I am not wearing your underwear or your banian.how dare you ask me such questions.hey tamil , you also show him da (what ?)

Tamil - machi , forget it da, he had a question , so he clarified it , dont get angry buddy .(i ONLY wear T-shirt and shorts when i go home , what can I show these guys - shame , shame , puppy shame - hmm eppadiyo samalippomla....)

Mahesh - Bharath - this is too much , you cannot ask about your underwear and banian to others.

Bharath - machi , i asked only about my banian to you . why are you getting so upset for that .(ADA PAAVI !)

Mahesh - Tamil told that you inquired about your briefs too!

Bharath - Yeah ,because , i thought my waist size and tamil's waist size are the same , so he could have mistaken .

Tamil - (naatamai theerpa maathi sollu) ok da , hey mahesh , no you go and change man.(Mahesh was unaware that he was having the entire conversation in his swimming costume,SO I ask him to go in and change ). dei Bharath , dont ask such stupid questions here after . Ok va. Now finish the cooking fast , I am hungry...

both got out of the fight and I was feeling happy for solving the dispute.

Appppaaaadaaaaa , finally , i go back to my sun tv.

while watching the tv , i was wondering who did the most damaging insult -

first ,Bharath insulted both mahesh and myself by asking such a question. In turn , Mahesh insulted bharath, by standing half naked in front of him(thambi , i did not see mahesh, as I was closing my eyes with my hands, so I was not insulted :)

I was convinced that the most damaging insult that man could do to another man is asking the other guy,if he was wearing his underwear.I am sure you would agree with me on that ...


More to come